Last weeks words

The Words

Forty hashers arrived at the Tally Ho, yes you did read that right, four-zero, two score,  XL, 101000, probably our highest number on a normal hashing night. Word had got around that it was a Balls-up trail and so hashers turned up from far and wide, because it is well known in these parts that the sun shines out of Balls-ups behind so anything associated with him is going to be faultless! Or is that Damp Patch? I do get the two muddled up.

X-Bitz's bright pink trousers, which along with the Great Wall of China are the only man-made objects visible from space, acted like a beacon to direct hashers to the opening circle. Bell Toll, our illustrious GM, introduced the visitors to many cheers from the assembled horde. Boots-In-Puss got up to mischief straight away dropping an ice cube down Spocky's neck. The hare did a very bad job drawing a wonky check to send the hashers on our way, and this got some of us worried. Maybe he isn't perfect after all? could this be a sub-standard trail?

Off we set into the back streets of Countess Wear. Very soon we were in a playground and as hashers are inclined to do we were all soon clambering over the obstacle course like monkeys (well the trail did go that way). Some larkin' about the ensued much to the amusement of a group of local kids in the park. Oh what a wonderful thing it is to be a wise and mature adult.

Finally the last hasher was coerced and disentangled from the play equipment and we could continue off toward Topsham. Two police officers gave us some puzzled looks

as they cruised slowly past. Probably wondering what jail we had escaped from (or zoo in some cases).

At this point Boots-In-Puss decided that everything was going far too smoothly so ran into the middle of a road without looking. Cue a screech of brakes and some very naughty language from the driver.

On down a long and empty road to the sweetie stop. Stix attempted to demonstrate the some of the laws of physics; Simple harmonic motion and resonance, although to the untrained eye this may have looked like vandalising a lamppost and acting like an unruly, delinquent child.

After running through the new housing estate we emerged onto Rydon lane. Like a heard of wildebeest crossing a crocodile infested river we swarmed across the

busy road and into Ludwell valley park. Balls-Up confessed to being in trouble with his partner, Nicky, for forgetting their 5th anniversary and then going hashing instead of spending the evening with her. He tried to buy his way out of it with flowers but I think you are going to have to do better than that Ballsy. I hear diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Well back to the trail and I naively decided to follow Puss in Bootless and Whoopsie on a 'shortcut' despite the Hare going a different way. "It will be quicker this way" said Puss. "We'll beat the others". Very soon her tune had changed to "Well at least it's a bit of an adventure, a road less travelled" as we picked our way through waist deep tufts of grass and thistles. We emerged way behind the hashers who had gone the other way, having picked up a few bugs along the way.

Back at the pub after an hour and five minutes, exactly what Balls-Up had predicted. How could we have ever doubted him.

Down downs from Buzby's mini fridge went to:
The Hare (or Harey poos as No. 2 referred to him), Balls up.
Two of the visitors from Haldon H3.
Three poofs on a hash: Strongbow, Wide Receiver and Buzby for man love.
PP & Fruity Bitz for frolicking on the play equipment
Boots in Puss: His 50th (and nearly last) hash.
And a naming for young James, now to be know as 'Bear Essentials"

Buzby watered down Bear Essentials down down beer and was stunned when someone suggested the beer was made worse by water.

Straight after the circle Chardonnay was whisked to the hospital by Wide Receiver having developed a severe reaction to something nasty on the trail (hope you are feeling better Chardonnay). Lilo Lil enjoyed scoffing Wide Reciever's chips in the pub.

Quote of the week:
As Buzby stripped off his top in the circle, causing the alarmed residents of Countess Wear to think the grizzly bear had escaped from Paignton Zoo, Wide Receiver commented "Isn't he lush".

On On,

Damp Patch


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