words for 7.3.12

Slippery’s hash from lower car park, Stoke Woods, Exeter, 7^th March 2012

BellToll announced that this is the 799^th Isca trail, which means the next one is a big one.  He also introduced Slippery as today’s hare.  Slippery said to me last week “How can you lay a trail there (lower car park) without it being on road cos it’s just a short narrow strip of woods” – or was he having me on?

Anyway, a fair turnout assembled for the destructions and trail.  Flour, wununon, long/shorts, sweeties etc.  Longs about 4 miles, shorts about 3. Off we went, and then it began.  Up a bank, down a bank, around a track, up and around again, little bit of shiggy and paintball?  Where did that come from?  This was the sweety stop, where all sorts but especially chocolate mice were seen.  Slippery kept on about his chocolate mice well before the sweety stop, almost day dreaming about them but certainly mentioning them several times.  I wondered if he had cultivated them from chocolate drops or even yogurt flavoured chocolate but he kept mentioning them – quite worrying really cos after all, they’re just chocolate.  Nobody liked them anyway. 

We could do with the shelter we found at ground level from the rain that had started, except for PP shouting from the top level “Come up here its dry”.  She was completely in the open.  Lost the plot me thinks.  Onon again, more up, more down, more around in circles.  Lilo Lil boasting that she got all the checks right (must be a first).

At the end, I looked at the array of gps/statnavs/satellite guided hashers and made a calculation.  How the hell did Slippery pack 4 miles of longs and 3 miles of shorts in half an acre? Left me scratching my head, I can tell you.

Down downs now. 

The hare for a really good and proper hash trail. 

Wide Receiver for being late and something else I think.

Lilo and Twice Knightly for cross dressing. 

PP and Melon Picker for um something or other, I had lost interest by now.  Have I missed any?

Finally, the bit everyone was now waiting for.  Back to the Cowley Bridge.  There we found the Bitz’ clan with the new addition to the hash fraternity – ‘Son of the Bitz’ revealed for the first time and typical of the species – asleep.  After a quick drink it was onon to the restaurant for some yummy Chinese food that came out in  few dishes but then dried up.  Much muttering about recession, hard times, food prices, even the Chinese have to cut back, but lo and behold, after quite a delay, it started to come out again – double yummy and finished up well stuffed.

Enjoyable trail, great company, great food, all in all another Isca success, as usual.

Did I see Buzby and Screech at the beginning?

OnonOddbitz

                                               

words for 28.3.12

ISCA HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Exmouth 28^th March 2012

Exmouth was ideal for our first BST trail and in a week of superb sunshine too. As no Flying Focker, Painted Pussy or Larks Vomit put an appearance in, Poacher obligingly allowed me to leave my kit inside his vehicle while we waited for circle to be called. Thanks Poacher!  Good to see Rucka there having now repaired. Was he tired of being fussed over by all the pretty nurses? Must also mention: Boots, proudly wearing his flip-flops for the hash trail expressing concern (and trying to win Quote of the year?) that the moon might fall onto his head… Anybody notice too some patriotic trainers on trail last week?

Not everybody was there for the run. Son-of-a-Bitz brought X-bitz along for an evening out and I’m sure I noticed Puss wearing some colourful and baggy trousers at the beginning?

Soapy told me it was my turn to write the words and as I’m also scribing for Lunatics too, I tried wriggling out of this for a moment until I overheard Lilo say to Bump & Grind: ‘I don’t actually know how long it is’! ‘Gold dust’! … I had a feeling there’d be lots to scribble about! And, perhaps I’ll have to opportunity to put my side across concerning last year’s ‘Bishopsteignton fish-hook incident’…?

Circle was called within the Leisure Centre CP and Bell-toll (still on GMT) extended our welcome to visitors from afar and not so far: Poacher, Peanut and Jason. Bell toll introduced the hares, Lilo and Bump & Grind.

Lilo:  ‘one and on’… ‘two long/ short splits’… ‘one regroup’ and a ‘sweet-stop five miles that way in the direction of Lympstone’.

It didn’t take us very long at all to discover the trail out of the car park and on-on to the scenic Exmouth seafront. An enjoyable length of the trail alongside the beach with many distractions brought us to our first fishhook and a regroup just beyond. Here we enjoyed the view of a really, rather excellent sunset over the water.

Bump & Grind joked here (we’d hoped) that the Sweet stop was five miles ‘the other way than earlier stated by Lilo, in the opposite direction of Sandy Bay…

The hares pointed us away from the beach along Maer lane and in the direction of Littleham, where we chose between a Long and a Short Split. The longs continued by road and I’ve no idea what adventures the shorts got up to, but there was some talk later about a bridge??? Just as Bump & (co-hare) Grind and I arrived at another fishhook, which of course I was keen to obey… Bump & Grind commented ‘I should’ve known this’d be here, being a hare’. If’ Lilo had laid flour markings toward Lympstone and Bump & Grind had laid markings toward Sandy Bay… who could’ve laid this section of trail... …?

I guess I should’ve mentioned B&G’s amnesia in the DD circle, but I figured he was getting a DD for co-haring anyway!

We reached The Clinton Arms at Littleham and the Sweet-Stop was just ahead, albeit around a corner or two. I believe Menage and Wide-Receiver were both having strapping fun here too…

We passed by the Lidls and the Tesco stores and arrived at the Sweet-Stop in beautifully synchronised timing with the shorts. Some of us were happy and others were tickled by the Mr-Men sweets as Melon Picker began eating fizzy earthworms he’d found in the grass.

From the Sweet Stop, we were given the second Long/ short option.

The longs ran back through town toward the Esplanade and the shorts did something else. I had no idea that Exmouth was so big. We (longs) arrived back at Esplanade and met with an On-Home, then predictably we headed west toward the Leisure Centre…  though I crossed over the road (I like running alongside the beach), I missed the markings and ran a bit further than I was supposed to.

DDs awarded for outstanding achievements were: Woodpecker who nearly received a DD for arriving back half way through circle, Lilo and Bump & Grind for co-haring, Jason for being the traveller from afar, Poacher for ignoring a fish-hook and [?] for short-sightedness and not seeing the bridge on the second short!

The OD was the spoons pub in Exmouth: The Powder Monkey.

Clever Dick was intimidated by some senior ladies who nicked the room that Lilo had earlier reserved for us. In good company, we enjoyed some real ale, lemony beers and as usual we nicked food from one another’s plates.

Great evening as always! Thanks much to Lilo and to Bump & Grind for the evening’s excellent, Exmouth escapade!

Soapy says that as of last Wednesday, Registered places for the Roman Isca Away Day stands at just over 75%, so get cracking and return your forms pronto!!!!

On-on

Slippery.

word for 4.4.12

So, I finally make it to hashing after about 6 weeks of meetings, Ofsted, etc, thinking that surely, we haven’t got round to the ‘W’s for writing the words yet, and tah-dah, it’s me, Whoopsie on words duty, typical!

So, we circled up, after the boys finally put their balls away (rugby balls you’ll be pleased to hear!); and Bell Toll managed to get his trainers on without the need for a shoe-horn (?) (really Bell Toll, you’re not 80 yet, you’ll be requesting some zip-up tartan booties to wear at the on-down next!) So with a select bunch of die-hards, obviously the earlier hail had put some people off (wimps), Bell Toll introduced a visitor, Squeaks, to the pack and handed us swiftly over to the evening’s hares, Clever Dick and Twice Knightly.

The trail was introduced as a 3 and on, whoop whoop, long-short splits, whoop whoop, sweetie stop, whoop whoop de whoop, and a ‘lucky stop’.  This was when my ears pricked up, hearing my name mentioned,

“I hope you’re getting all this Whoopsie?” Followed by,

“Eh, what, I wasn’t listening, I usually just follow everyone else, what do I need to know?”

“You’re doing the words.”  I was obviously off for longer than I thought!!

Anyway, the afternoon’s rain did not stop Clever and Twice from laying an eggsellent trail (well it is Easter!), and fun was had by all, especially when Wide Receiver lost his shoe in the shaggy, tee hee hee, good job they had luminous laces, wondered what they were all about, now I know!  Oh, and speaking of Wide Receiver, I now feel educated in the difference between the different brambles that were lacerating my eyeballs at every step, thank you so much.

Another of the finest moments was the part of the trail that I have since named ‘the avenue of torture’ – an innocent looking path that led into a dense mass of gorse, holly, brambles (sorry, didn’t listen properly, don’t remember which type, sorry Wide :-) ) Although most people were muttering curses, Poacher was in his element, tearing through like some sort of crazed animal, gashing his legs left right and centre, dripping blood all over the joint! Then cries of,

“How did you get here, you weren’t at the start!?” as we found that we had gained 2 more harriettes on trail (they were lucky to have found us just after the avenue of torture, could probably hear the screams from the car park)

Ooh, and the best bit was the cosy sweetie stop, in a teepee, cool!  There were Lidl’s finest caramel bars, coconut bars and fizzy worms.  And Slippery was harping on about some ‘hard ones’ that he had, although I didn’t see him with any sweets at this point (?).  We ever so carefully climbed out of the giant grass skirt, for fear of taking it with us and continued on on, through the night.

Down downs:

Me: for getting too many prickles (although I heard FF complaining about pricks up his arse, but he kept that one quiet in the down downs)

Hares: for fabulous trail

Squeaks: visitor

Others: ? can’t remember as I was too busy unwrapping chocolate eggs!

On on

Whoopsie

This weeks trail

White cross CP East hill strips  SY113927 OD The cannon inn, newtonpoppleford   Hare-Coffin On on Wide

Word for easter week

After such a wonderfully sunny and warm day , it was a surprise to join hoodie and jumper clad hashers in the overloaded car park at Killerton.

We waited for Damp Patch to ion us on the clear evening. He briefed the circled hashers. He explained that because it was Easter Week, there would be fun and games ahead plus Easter egg checks but more of that later.

So off we ran up a small incline, Flying Fokker(living up to his name) was the first casualty, being taken out by a rather enthusiastic dog that was charging to our first egg check. I must admit, I was rather glad of the check as I gave me time to catch my breath. I did my duty as a hasher, no dear reader I didn’t just stand at the check, I was looking for the eggs, sorry trail! Damp patch had said the there were 3 egg per check, could I find em?

Radiohead however found the trail and we were off again. Through paths and tracks only to be added to by an over friendly Bassett hound. He would not go back to his owner who must have been knackered trying to keep up with us. No.2 and her new addition Emu( its Emo really but after discussion at the sweetie stop he has a new name, sorry No.2), loved the attention of the new hash hound, who’s owner finally caught up with us in the main park area.

So onto a Long/Short split. I was left behind again!! Honestly I was only doin my duty in the woods!!

I saw the tail end vanishing around a corner and I was on my own, with only the song birds and Bluebells for company. As I caught the back markers the sun was just setting through the trees, a stunning sight however a sweetie shop awaited.

DP told us of the game we would be playing, chucky egg!! Imelda and I immediately ran away from each other, turned and the egg was in the air, I caught the eggcellent (sorry I really didn’t want to put any egg puns in) throw from about 10 metres. Many others didn’t fair so well. Lilo ended up with egg all over her only hoodie, oops!! It also managed to get on her face too. Soapy and Melon Picker(mmmmm soapy melons) managed to get an egg to bounce, they thought it was hard boiled until Havoc got his paws on it. In the end Imelda and I got won a Cream Egg each for the furthest catch but had to eat it on the go and the hashers didn’t wait for us. Straight away we came upon a check, Twin peaks refused to check it out into a field on cows, chicken!! What the worst that can happen?

More trail lead us to a chapel, very pretty, so much so that Stat Nav wee’d on it. So we followed the river back to the car park. What a great trail DP, Thank you.

So the down downs

The hare DP

Slippery got 2. 1 for wanting to turn Pongo in to Pongo-burgers and the other given to him by Lilo. She was very good; I would have poured it over him, just for a laugh tho not to be nasty.

Twin Peaks for the cow incident.

Stat Nave for weeing on the chapel.

On On

Wide Reciever